This picture says it all right now! I’m going to take a little departure from our regularly scheduled program to talk about dating :). In particular, my journey on this road to love. I took a break from dating after my Dad passed to get myself together, and focus on my family. But, recently I decided to jump back in. I finally feel ready to open myself up to love, and I’m really enjoying this feeling. I just am not enjoying some of the dates and/or people, I’m meeting along the way.
I know I didn’t corner the market on heartache and pain. But, I also have not cornered the market on crazy and stupid either. At least, I hope not :). Tonight I went on a date with a seemingly nice guy that I’ve been talking with. We met online, and this was our first time meeting. He was handsome, and seemed like his usual intelligent self. But, boy was I wrong…..
We’re chatting and sharing an appetizer. When he asks if I want to share a meal. I wasn’t that hungry, and thought that’s not a problem. I’m a pescatarian (fish-eating vegetarian), so as long as he can manage it, we’re good :). We order our meal ( Six Cheese Mac & Cheese), and continue our conversation. Ten minutes, in things start to go south.
He asks if I’m ok with canceling the order, because he’s not that hungry. I’m not starving, and he’s giving me a look like he really wants to cancel this order. But, I would like to eat something. So, I tell him to cancel that order; and I’ll get a salad. I guess that sparked something in him. He then proceeds to tell me that was just a “test to see if I was really hungry?”. WTH? What do you mean “see if I was really hungry?” Why would I order food if I didn’t plan to eat?
Well, I’m not too happy about that test. I graduated from school a long time ago. Testing is not required or needed on my end. So, I let him know politely not to do that anymore. If you want to know anything or have a concern, please ask me directly. We’re too old for anything less. He tells me he was just joking, and apologizes. We move past it, and he asks for the bill.
Foolishly, I think we are all good at this point. One moment of B.S. behind us, and we’re ending the evening on a good note :). I spoke too soon. The bill comes, and he asks if I have a few dollars for the tip. Unfortunately, I don’t. I’m notorious for not carrying cash (my friends would agree) . But, I have my credit card. I offer to pay, if he needs me to do so. Yes, I know that’s always a strike against a man, if they let you pay. But, I’m always prepared in case I need to cover a check. He says, ” I know you won’t go out with me again, if I let you pay ?” Really? You know what they say about people who assume :).
Anyway, here’s where he decides to really seal this deal. He says, “Since I bought you dinner, will you buy me a six pack of beer?” Can we say “I know I’m getting Punked at this moment’? I was so stunned, the only thing I can muster was “Really?”. He was as serious as a heart attack. He proceeded to explain that was a test to see if I was down for him. So, a six pack of beer is how you measure my feelings towards you? It’s hard to imagine this educated handsome man equates his worth to a six pack of Budweiser. Wow! Lack of self-esteem is a powerful thing.
All I can say is he got that six pack. I got tired of trying to rationalize how stupid that was. How you will never know love if you can’t stop making other people pay, because of people in your past. How that six pack cost him a good woman (yes, I’m a good woman with her own, who will share it with the right person.)
So, I hope it keeps him warm at night, supports him, loves him, challenges him, and makes him a better person.
Lesson learned: “Love yourself enough to know your worth, and to take the time to fix yourself when you’ve been damaged by others. People shouldn’t have to pay for past mistakes.”
Until we meet again!