2chicksand1oldlady

Two sisters taking care of their mom while trying to live life and find love.

Every Day Is Resurrection Day

Image

This morning I was in church reflecting on the true implications of the “Resurrection”. To think that God sent his only son to die on the cross, and rise on the third day for our sins. That is such a powerful act of love. How many of us would be willing to die for someone else? Especially, someone who you may not even know. We are so blessed, and it made me realize that everyday is an opportunity for us to move past the things or people who hold us back from living in our purpose. 

The enemy comes to seek and destroy, and typically he uses our fears to hold us back. The enemy knows that in moments of fear and frustration, we’re likely to make permanent irrational decisions in temporary situations. This isn’t a new approach, all you have to do is look in the bible. Can you say Judas Iscariot? 

The funny thing is that even though the players change, the game still stays the same. We get bogged down in challenging situations, and can’t see the way out. So, we make decisions that deter us from living our best lives possible. 

As a caregiver, this is something I’ve felt first hand. I never thought I would be a caregiver, and when it happened it really turned my life upside down. I was living on fear and frustration. I lost myself. But, I’ve found me again and this time I won’t lose her :).  I realized I had to do something different. I had to walk on faith, and know my purpose is too great to be deterred. So, I closed the door on darkness and depression; and decided to walk in the sun. Ever since I made that decision, life has been amazing.

Don’t be afraid to let go of the things that cause you pain. The people or situations that make you feel fear and frustration need to go bye bye :). To live in the light, you have to rise past the darkness, and move forward. Every day is opportunity  for resurrection, it’s never too late to be free and happy!

Until we meet again!

xo

 

 

 

 

Leave a comment »

Budweiser & Bull Shit : Sorry, I got to call it like I see it :)

ImageThis picture says it all right now! I’m going to take a little departure from our regularly scheduled program to talk about dating :). In particular, my journey on this road to love. I took a break from dating after my Dad passed to get myself together, and focus on my family. But, recently I decided to jump back in. I finally feel ready to open myself up to love, and I’m really enjoying this feeling. I just am not enjoying some of the dates and/or people, I’m meeting along the way. 

I know I didn’t corner the market on heartache and pain. But, I also have not cornered the market on crazy and stupid either. At least, I hope not :). Tonight I went on a date with a seemingly nice guy that I’ve been talking with. We met online, and this was our first time meeting. He was handsome, and seemed like his usual intelligent self. But, boy was I wrong….. 

We’re chatting and sharing an appetizer. When he asks if I want to share a meal. I wasn’t that hungry, and thought that’s not a problem. I’m a pescatarian (fish-eating vegetarian), so as long as he can manage it, we’re good :). We order our meal ( Six Cheese Mac & Cheese), and continue our conversation. Ten minutes, in things start to go south.

He asks if I’m ok with canceling the order, because he’s not that hungry.  I’m not starving, and he’s giving me a look like he really wants to cancel this order. But, I would like to eat something. So, I tell him to cancel that order; and I’ll get a salad. I guess that sparked something in him. He then proceeds to tell me that was just a “test to see if I was really hungry?”. WTH? What do you mean “see if I was really hungry?” Why would I order food if I didn’t plan to eat? 

Well, I’m not too happy about that test. I graduated from school a long time ago. Testing is not required or needed on my end. So, I let him know politely not to do that anymore. If you want to know anything or have a concern, please ask me directly. We’re too old for anything less. He tells me he was just joking, and apologizes. We move past it, and he asks for the bill. 

Foolishly, I think we are all good at this point. One moment of B.S. behind us, and we’re ending the evening on a good note :). I spoke too soon. The bill comes, and he asks if I have a few dollars for the tip. Unfortunately, I don’t. I’m notorious for not carrying cash (my friends would agree) . But, I have my credit card. I offer to pay, if he needs me to do so. Yes, I know that’s always a strike against a man, if they let you pay. But, I’m always prepared in case I need to cover a check. He says, ” I know you won’t go out with me again, if I let you pay ?” Really? You know what they say about people who assume :).  

Anyway, here’s where he decides to really seal this deal. He says, “Since I bought you dinner, will you buy me a six pack of beer?” Can we say “I know I’m getting Punked at this moment’? I was so stunned, the only thing I can muster was “Really?”. He was as serious as a heart attack. He proceeded to explain that was a test to see if I was down for him. So, a six pack of beer is how you measure my feelings towards you? It’s hard to imagine this educated handsome man equates his worth to a six pack of Budweiser.  Wow! Lack of self-esteem  is a powerful thing. 

All I can say is he got that six pack. I got tired of trying to rationalize how stupid that was. How you will never know love if you can’t stop making other people pay, because of people in your past. How that six pack cost him a good woman (yes, I’m a good woman with her own, who will share it with the right person.)

So, I hope it keeps him warm at night, supports him, loves him, challenges him, and makes him a better person.

Lesson learned: “Love yourself enough to know your worth, and to take the time to fix yourself when you’ve been damaged by others. People shouldn’t have to pay for past mistakes.”

Until we meet again!

xo

 

 

 

Leave a comment »

There’s No Us Without You

There's No Us Without You

Today is a monumental day in our lives. Today is the day the “Old Lady”, our mother was born :). She’s sixty-seven years young today, and that would not be enough time to tell her how much she means to us.

My mother has been a source of strength, laughter, tears, hugs, spankings, stories, meals, encouragement, aggravation, and countless memories for us :). We would be lost without her.

Our relationship has gone through many changes. Especially, after my Father’s death. But, I can honestly say that I’m grateful for all of the changes we’ve been through.

Our experiences have helped me find my strength and worth. She has taught me about love through her memories of my Father. She also showed me that I wasn’t built to break by challenging me to give more to my family. She has taught me that family always must come first, and that is the true key to wealth and success.

There is so much more I could say. But, the words would never cover the feelings. So, I’ll end by saying that I thank God for having the insight to say that Joyce Davis should be my mother. He knew before I was even a twinkle in her eyes, that she was the only one that could bring me into this world. That descision was the beginning of my blessings; and I’ve been and will continue to be blessed because of that insight.

Happy Birthday Mommy!!!

xo

2 Comments »

The Things We Take For Granted

the-things-you-take-for-granted-someone-else-is-praying-f

***This is one of the first blogs I wrote, and I wanted to share it again. It definitely helped put things in perspective for me. I hope you enjoy it.***

We are so blessed! We get the opportunity to wake up and savor the world, the good and bad. This week I had an opportunity to reflect on that as I took my Mom to the eye doctor. I know that sounds like such a routine thing to do. But, for my Mom it’s very different. She is legally blind, and for her it’s a moment filled with fear and regret. 

My Mom lost her vision over ten years ago due to uncontrolled diabetes that destroyed her retinas. There is no treatment available that can help her. So, at this point she is only able to see shapes and shadows. Imagine for a moment what that must be like. A life in a constant cloud of darkness. Only your hands to feel and guide you through the world.  My Mom still claims she can “see”. But, we know without direct light, she is living in darkness. It’s hard on her. She is completely reliant on us for her survival. That loss of independence manifests itself in many ways. There can be harsh words toward us out of frustration when we tell her to do something, or try to lead her as we walk. Or, outbreaks of fear that we are going to abandon her. Then, there are the thoughts that she is a burden, and is holding us back from living our lives. It’s amazing how the lack of “actual vision” can lead to a loss of “mental vision”. It’s like being a prisoner in solitary confinement. You can’t see the outside world, so that obstructed view darkens your soul and mind. 

My Mom is in a constant battle to not allow the darkness to destroy her spirit, and make her give up. She misses my Father. He covered for her, and was constantly there as her “eyes” to world. So, without him it’s like she is grieving not only the loss of her partner, friend, and husband of thirty-six years. She’s lost her “vision”. She’s lost her direction, and now has to learn how to trust and find a new “leader”. It’s easy for most people to lead. Everyone wants or desires to be in control. But, the true art is being able to follow. To be able to trust that someone else knows the direction that you should go, and won’t let you fall is so hard. That’s a lesson that many struggle with, and pay thousands of dollars to learn. 

I’m blessed that I’m able to lead. But, I use this experience taking care of my Mom to remind me about needing to be able to follow. There will come a time, when the roles will change. There will be a time when someone will step in, and need to take care of me. So, I need to be constantly  grateful and thoughtful in my “leadership”. I need to understand that this opportunity only highlights the deep trust that my Mom has in me. I’m now the one leading the “vision’ for her life. Vision is not only about seeing in the natural, it’s about plotting a course for our lives that will lead us with God’s grace down the right road. i pray that I stay grounded and keep my “20/20 vision” for all areas of my life. 

So, don’t take your “vision” for granted. Get it checked, the results could be life changing. Until we meet again!

XO

 

2 Comments »

“It’s Not About The Hand Up, It’s About The Wake Up”

Image

 

 

Today was my “Serving Sunday” at church. By “Serving Sunday”, I’m referring to my work with my church’s hospitality ministry. It’s refreshing to labor for the Lord. Especially, since we labor daily on our jobs, for our families, friends, etc.  We have to carve out time to work for him, since he made the ultimate sacrifice for us. Well, today I got an opportunity to collect another “paycheck blessing” for that time. 

We were blessed to have a wonderful word on not being weak in our faith. It’s so easy to accept a status quo life. It’s comforting for many people to be content with just getting by in different situations. This can be especially true when you’re a caregiver. You are just glad at times to get through a day where there is no crying, yelling, rushing from place to place, etc. You start to feel like getting by is all you should aspire to achieve in these situations. You feel like you’re doing your best, and you don’t know any other way, right?

But, there is another way. It’s called tapping into yourself, and unlocking your faith. It’s realizing that God equipped you with the tools to achieve any goal, and manage any situation before you were even born. Wow, to think that God knew our capabilities before we were even a twinkle in our parents eyes. That’s amazing, and it should inspire and comfort us in all things. 

However, we don’t think about that as we navigate our daily lives. We at times become overwhelmed, and look to others for our help or “hand up”. We just want someone to come in, and help make it easy. But, nothing in life is easy. Plus, at times that person is not equipped to handle our situations. So, we get frustrated and just accept things as the “status quo” for our lives. 

That’s such a powerful thing to do. Our words and thoughts have so much power over how our lives play out. We have to remember that. Remember, you were given the ability to overcome any situation before you were born. You just have to be open, and ask God to reveal it to you. 

So, to the caregivers looking to find solutions and live the best life possible. To anyone struggling to find their way in life, looking for direction in a relationship or business, etc. Just ask and be ready to receive. Until we meet again!

xo

 

Leave a comment »

Diversion Tactics

Sometimes you have to find the funny in things, and other times it just jumps out and grabs you. This is one of those time when funny just grabbed me :).

Last Thursday, I had the opportunity to participate in the “Walk for Wishes” to support the Make A Wish foundation. It was so much fun. I really enjoyed having the opportunity to support a great cause, with my team from work. So, that means I didn’t come home after work :). FREE NIGHT !!!!!!

The other chick was home with the old lady, and I could go and have dinner & drinks. So, we finish up with the race and head to Graffiti Junction for food. It was so cool,to relax and chill. We caregivers need those moments. I even got a chance to come across a new vegan restaurant, and some amazing organic candles. I bought two and they are awesome. I was “WINNING” on all levels :).

Well, I head home about 9:30pm to go watch Scandal (Guilty Pleasure) and chill. I get home a little after 10pm to be greeted by the “old lady” in her moon nightgown and socks waiting up for me. She was worried about me being out so late by myself, and was not able to rest until she knew I was home. Don’t forget I’m forty-one years old :). So, instead of trying to explain or rationalize why I’m late. I do what any self-respecting caregiver does. I go into my goody bag from the race, and come up with a “gift” to distract her.

My first “offering” is a dalmatian toy. My mom loves collectables. So, I think I’m on easy street. Not so lucky. She looks at the toy, and discards it quickly. Dagnabit, what do I have left to offer? So, I let her smell my candles. I try to distract her with the scent, and talk about burning them in the house. She is so taken by the warm sandalwood and vanilla scent, that she decides that she needs something in her room to make it smell good. WHAT? I put two Febreeze units in her room. Doesn’t it smell good enough? I try to distract her with an old Bath and Body mini candle that smells like her favorite scent. Nope, she’s not having it. She wants that vanilla sandalwood candle in her room, and she wants it now. I’m left in a quandary, give her my new favorite candle? Or, do I listen to a lecture about why I’m staying out so late? Also, I need to add, that it will include a dose of “Did you meet any men?”.

So, I pony up the candle, and watch her turn on her heels and slide off like a ninja in the night. No thank you. Just a little cute laugh in the night. A candle for a peaceful evening out, that’s a priceless trade.

The best smelling candle ever, and its organic !!!

The best smelling candle ever, and its organic !!!

Caregivers, get your “candles” ready and have a great time!!! Until we meet again!

xo 

Leave a comment »

These Two Have Changed My Life

These Two Have Changed My Life

I have to take a moment to talk about the most important people in my life. I call them sister and mother, you know them as “one of the chicks and the old lady” :). Today is my sister’s birthday, and I can’t help but reflect on what a wonderful woman she has become.

Life has not always been easy for her. She has a developmental disability that makes her more like a teenager vs. an adult. Her disability was very difficult for my parents to accept, and that resulted in years spent coddling and masking her challenges out of love and fear. However, even with that veil of overprotection, she was always destined for more.

My sister would go on to overcome the challenges of passing the CLAST (Florida’s College Level Aptitude Skills Test) after being an honor student in high school with a math deficiency. She kept missing it by one point for about a year and a half; and was not able to graduate with a degree. However, she never gave up and earned her degree after scoring exceptionally high on her GED. She also would decide to come live with me here in Orlando, get a job, and go to college even after being told she would never be able to accomplish those things.

She is a living testament to the audacity of hope, and I’m so blessed to have her in my life. She is my greatest ally, and best friend. She knows me completely, and loves me anyway. That is a true blessing in itself. She makes me better. She helps me see that nothing in life is unattainable with hard work and discipline. For her it’s never about the number of times it takes to complete a task, it’s about staying focused until the goal is achieved.

Her heart is so pure, it’s beautiful. She doesn’t allow frustration and pain to make her jaded. She realizes that she is just one of the people in this world that will have to work harder than the average person to make it. Could you imagine what we could accomplish in this world if we all felt that way about our lives?

I didn’t realize how blessed I was to have her in my life growing up. I wasn’t ashamed of her. But, I wasn’t completely understanding of our differences either. I didn’t invest the time I should have to understand her better. I regret that. But, I know that I wasn’t ready to understand then. I was such a child, and she required the understanding of a woman. I would’ve never been able to be the sister she needed when we were younger. I’m just thankful that God’s plan was beyond my thinking, and brought us closer when he knew we were ready. I couldn’t imagine my life without her!

There is so much I could say about her. So, many blogs that could be written about our experiences. Especially now that we’ve added our mom, the old lady :) to the mix. But, I want to make sure I say one thing; “She changed my life for the better”. She has taught me how to love someone more than myself. She has taught me patience in the face of extreme tragedy and anger. She has taught me that life is what you make it, and your family is the root of it all. I love her dearly, and I just want to her know that I’m so blessed to have her in my life. I’m also extremely grateful that God gave her to us on this day!

Happy Birthday Cookie!!!!

xo

Leave a comment »

Reflection

Image

This post was a little bit of a challenge to put together. I’ve been feeling very reflective lately, and have a million thoughts running through my head. That probably sounds like a “virtual playground” of potential blogs. But, I’m also working and taking care of my family. So, it’s more like a huge swirling “tornado of thoughts” that I’m trying to find a house to hold onto for safety :-).  

Don’t get me wrong, i like it. I’m just trying to make sure I take time to savor the thoughts. These are the thoughts that could potentially be our “breakthrough”. That moment when everything finally makes sense, and you feel like you can conquer the world. That’s such a wonderfully rare feeling, and greatness is always born out of it. When you feel like you can conquer the world, your energy and motivation is on level ten. Nothing can stop you! 

It’s a game changer, and you have to change how you play sometimes to get another result. So, take a moment to “savor your thoughts”, you never know where it will take you. Until we meet again!

xo

Leave a comment »

Playing Hooky

Paradise😄

I had to share this slice of “birthday heaven” with you😄.
I’m having a “hooky” day, and I don’t know why I haven’t done this sooner.

“Playing Hooky” has always had a bad reputation. It’s always been associated with people trying to get out of work or school. Well, I’m here to advocate that every person with a job & family should “play hooky” ASAP! It’s a well deserved adventure waiting to happen.

I’m so glad that I got up today,and did my normal routine. But, instead of going to my office. I went to the spa, and spent the day being rubbed & scrubbed. I’m sitting here typing this on my iPhone as I have a lite bite to eat looking out over the pool. I don’t think I’m this relaxed when I sleep😄.

Long story short, take some time for yourself. The world will keep on running if you take a break. Treat yourself, love yourself enough to get quiet & relax.

Until we meet again.

xo

Leave a comment »

It Just Keeps Getting Better

Last year at this time, I was getting ready to make the trip of a lifetime to Cape Town, South Africa. It was my first trip overseas, and a “bucket list” moment to celebrate turning forty. That trip really started me on a year of self-discovery and acceptance. South Africa spoke to my soul. It taught me the true meaning of hope and forgiveness in the face of insurmountable odds. A book is being born out of that journey (a work in progress, that will be discussed later :-) ). 

Now, I’m about turn forty-one, and there are no trips on deck this time. But, the blessed feeling still remains. Many people complain about getting older. But, I feel like a fine wine that gets better with age. I love aging. I’ve never felt this comfortable in my own skin. I feel like the world is clearer now. I know who I am, and where I want to go. That’s the type of direction we long for in our youth.  However, I know that everything comes in time and order. I’m just thankful, that it’s finally my time. 

I’m thankful for the possibility of another year, another opportunity to step into my purpose. Another chance to spend time with my family.  Life is precious, and we should celebrate every year because that means our assignment is not done. There is still time to get it right. I look forward to many more opportunities  to get it right; and I celebrate wholeheartedly another chance. 

Until we meet again!

Image

Top of The World

xo

Leave a comment »

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 41 other followers