Late Nights and Early Mornings
It’s 1:00am, and I can’t stop thinking about you. I keep thinking about your lips, your skin, your body weight. All of the things that take me back to that last time. You took my breath away with how good you felt to me, on top of me, behind me, inside me. You get the picture :). Yet, with that pleasure comes a price. You get the inner most part of me. You have me in ways that no one else will. I get to wonder will you call? I get to wonder if your silence is a reflection of me. Or, a reflection of the fact that you “can’t handle it”? Not “it” in the sense of physicality. You “can’t handle it” in the sense of emotion; of me asking for “more”. “More”, that word that is ambiguous in it’s meaning. That could mean a date or a lifetime. Who knew one word could mean so many different things to different people. I look at my phone as I text you and erase it. I want you, I need you. But, I’m afraid too. I’m afraid that I’ll slip into a “pattern”. You know the pattern where we settle for a “piece” rather that waiting for the ‘whole pie”. Because, we’ve been conditioned to think a “piece” is better than nothing at all. But from where I sit that “piece” is nothing at all. A ‘piece’ only is going to satisfy for so long. Why should I settle for a piece when I can have the whole thing. I’m selfish, I want it all. Is that wrong? If I can have or do anything I focus my energy on. Then, why can’t I have all of you. Especially, if I put my focus on you. If I’m honest with you, then why can’t I have you. That seems to be the $100 million dollar question for the world. I guess it won’t get solved tonight, I mean this morning. :)
Until we meet again!