If there is one thing that’s certain, it’s that I have not cornered the market on heartbreak and pain. There have been, and will be many people that have been hurt by love. It’s the one thing that’s consistently going to be the most sought after feeling in this world. It’s also one of the things, I have not been able to acquire. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been in love. But, I’ve never been engaged or married. That’s pretty rare for someone my age. I’m forty, so people always expect a husband and a tribe of kids to be around me :). But, that’s not how my life has gone. No husband and no kids.
I used to struggle with that. I’ve always wanted to be married and have children. I had my life planned out, like so many other women. However, I’ve come to learn God can have different plans. Sometimes, you have children another way (e.g. through marriage, etc.), or you have a sixty-six year old mom that acts like a two-year old, and a thirty-five year sister old that acts like a sixteen year-old :). So, I’m covered on the children part for now. A husband, that’s a different story.
I haven’t met the person I’m going to marry, and I’m not in a rush. I know that sounds crazy. Especially, since I just mentioned that I struggled with that. But, now I’ve realized that marriage is not a sprint, it’s a marathon. So, I’ll be patient until I meet my “distance runner”. I used to fall for the “sprinters”. I still do occasionally (another post for that story). “Sprinters” are the men that moved fast, and were shinny and sleek. All I could do was stand back and eat their dust. I couldn’t keep up with the hype, and I wound up licking my scrapes from falling down. It was until my Dad passed away that I learned that I need a “Distance Runner”. My Dad was a “Distance Runner”. A “Distance Runner” is the man that knows you have to be slow and steady to win. This man is concerned not about how long it takes to win the race, he’s more concerned about finishing. This man has had the training necessary to handle the obstacles that they may face on the road, and can make adjustments as needed to stay the course. My parents were married until they were separated by death, that’s thirty-seven years of staying the course. That’s a blessing, and I’m so happy that I was raised with that example. It wasn’t perfect, it was love. That’s what I look forward to having in my life.
Today, my mom called me into her room and prayed for me to have that love. She knows i’ve been disappointed recently with love; and wants to make sure I stay covered. It’s funny, I have to counsel and encourage her about my love life :). She doesn’t realize that the example that she and my father set, helped build this foundation for me. I know that God is going to bless me with my “Distance Runner”; he’s just making sure I can move past these “Sprinters” to ensure I can keep up. A prayer for love, I love my mommy. :)