I never thought losing my Dad, and taking care of my Mom would be the turning point for me learning how I should be treated.
I always used to think that I knew my worth. I used to talk with my friends about how I would never let a man treat me badly by lying or cheating on me. I thought I knew it all, I mean I had read all of the books :). Well, you can “Think Like a Man, and Act Like a Lady” all you want. But, if you don’t have standards and know your true worth; you’ll always get less than what you deserve. Don’t get me wrong, this is not a post where I can say I’ve mastered it all. No, I’m definitely still a work in progress (See “Late Nights and Early Mornings”). But, I can say I have at least started down the path to knowing my worth. This is a lifelong lesson that you constantly have to do “status checks” on due to the amount of people that will come into your life that will try to pull you off the path. Remember from my previous post, the “Sprinters’ vs. “Distance Runners”. The “Sprinters” are sleek, shiny, and move fast. The “Distance Runners” are the men who will go the extra mile to show you they care. They are the people that will build you up, and can maneuver the “pitfalls” or “bumps in the road”. Standards attract “Distance Runners” while blocking “Sprinters”. My Dad taught me that when he died.
When my Dad died, I really got an opportunity to learn about the man he was to my Mom as she spoke about their time together. My Mom was really ill at the time of my Dad’s death, and my Dad was doing everything for her. He did the laundry, cooked the meals, cleaned up any messes. He took care of her, and loved her completely. My Dad wasn’t wealthy financially. But, he was a “billionaire” when it came to showing her love. They talked about everything, the good and the bad. There was never a secret between them. They were best friends. That foundation is what got them through the trials and tribulations of life. They grew together instead of trying to compete with each other. Their relationship showed me that I need a man who can weather the storms, and who would always have my back if I’m in trouble. But, all of these things come with having standards. Standards doesn’t mean you have to have the man with the flyest car, house, or clothes. It’s about having the man with the flyest heart and soul. It’s about making sure you’re communicating what you need vs. what you want. We all want to live the fairy tale life with the beautiful man with a great job, house, and live happily ever after. But, that’s not realistic. Reality means you may have a man who has a job where he makes $10.00 per hour, and lives in an apartment. But, he has a five year plan to get a home and is saving to make it happen.
It’s all about growing up, and deciding what really matters. I began my journey down the path by watching the ending of a Thirty-Six year love story. I hope your path doesn’t start that way. But, I do hope it starts. Standards bring serenity, and serenity brings peace and love. It all works together for our good. Find your path. Until we meet again!