Day 10- The Freedom Of Forgiveness
21 Days To Balance And Fulfillment in 2015
Happy Thursday everyone! I apologize about missing my post yesterday. I had to take a “timeout. I needed to rest, recharge, and think about how I wanted to approach a very important part of our journey to balance and fulfillment in 2015. Let’s talk about forgiveness.
Forgiveness is one of the most challenging things for people to do. It’s also something; I’ve really struggled with. I have carried my share of guilt over my feelings of resentment about being a caregiver. Contrary to what people believe, there are not many of us who aspire to have this role.
In the beginning, I was very angry about being in this position, and my anger was eating me alive. I didn’t want to be here, and I was looking for the quickest escape route possible. My mom and I were arguing about everything. We were having those “Floyd Mayweather/Manny Pacquiao” fights. (You know that will be EPIC!!) . It was serious. And my sister was caught in the middle. My home was a “battlefield”, and I was “war weary”.
I’m sure all of the caregivers can feel me. On the outside it looks like we have it all together. But, on the inside we’re dying a slow and painful death. It’s definitely not a way to live; and at times there doesn’t appear to be a resolution. But, can I tell you there is light at the end of the tunnel. It all begins with the forgiveness.
It’s all about speaking your feelings, and not letting it root in your heart and soul. Ok, it doesn’t sound good to say, “I don’t want to be here.” Or, “I can’t do this.” But, that’s your truth in the moment that you are feeling it, and you have to acknowledge it. You have to speak it and hear it, so you can move past it. If not, then it becomes a “hidden feeling” that eats at you until you explode. Then, you wind up yelling it in anger.
When you’re angry, it never comes out right. Then you’re focused on apologizing versus trying to release yourself from your feelings. Forgiveness prevents that. Forgiveness allows you to speak, hear, and acknowledge your feelings before you let them out as “verbal vomit” on someone. Forgiveness is your “gut check” to let you know that it’s ok to feel this way right now. But, you are making the decision to move past these feelings as quickly as they came.
You know when the stress is pushing on you. You know when you feel pushed to your limits. Take a moment immediately to breathe, and acknowledge what you’re feeling. Then, speak encouraging words over yourself about how you feel. Tell yourself, “That it’s ok to be angry and hurt.” “It’s ok to feel overwhelmed right now.” Just by telling yourself that it’s ok to feel the feelings that you’re feeling, allows you to be free, Forgiveness is about freedom.
It’s the freedom to feel things that aren’t necessarily pretty, and the ability to not let it define you. Are you free? Have you completely forgiven yourself? Take a moment to think about that? Forgiveness is freedom, and freedom is essential to living a balanced and fulfilled life. Give it the attention it deserves. Until we meet again!