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  • me, mom and Tracey
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Two sisters taking care of their mom while trying to live life and find love.

2 Chicks and 1 Old Lady

Two sisters taking care of their mom while trying to live life and find love.


More Than A Caregiver

Have you ever said, “I’m more than this?” If so, than you and I are probably “spirit animals” that are feeling like what we’re doing isn’t working anymore. I’ve been feeling like this for a while about several different areas of my life, and I’m tired of it.

I’m so tired, that instead of trying to figure out an escape route. I’m ready to change the game, and use “more than” to create a movement. Can you feel it? Ok, maybe not yet. But, let me explain it this way.

When I say, “I’m more than a caregiver.” That typically is coming at a time when my frustration level is at a ten. You know those moments when you’re coming home from a hard day at the office, and everyone is looking at you to make dinner. Plus, they need you to fix a light bulb, do laundry, and make them feel better at the same time.


Audre Lorde

Ok, maybe that’s not your full reality. But, on an average night in my house three out the five things is happening simultaneously, and I have to pull out my “superwoman” cape to bring order back to the home front. In these moments outside of “cursing under my breath”, I quickly go to my old faithful statement, “I’m more than a caregiver. I’m better than this situation, and I don’t want to do this anymore.”

How many of us don’t want to do something anymore? I don’t want to be a caregiver, but I am. I hope that doesn’t offend anyone. But, this is my truth, and I’m sticking to it. I had to own my truth in order to move forward, and part of that was realizing that yes I’m “more than a caregiver.” Now, what am I going to do about it?

I’m going to change how I think about “more than”. I’ve decided that when I say I’m “more than a caregiver”, I’m going to use that as a reminder to look at my goals and acknowledge that is my motivation to achieve them. I’m taking it back to basics. With my time being limited, I find that just writing them down clearly and concisely is going to help me follow through on what I want for 2016.

There are so many things out there to help us achieve our goals (e.g. meditation, vision boards, etc.). But, you have to find what’s going to work for you. You’re the one that has to commit to it. So, if you can’t own it, don’t do it. Your time is too precious for that. That’s one of my goals for 2016 too. I’m not doing anything out of guilt or obligation. If it doesn’t honor me, it won’t be done. Remember, I’m “more than” someone’s expectation of me J.

Does it make sense yet? Can you see the movement? What are you “more than?” Over the next couple of weeks I’ll be sharing the plan, and my plan for using “more than” to help me achieve my goals in 2016. So, keep checking on the blog and my social media for updates. Let’s crush it together!

Until we meet again!



Posted in Front Page, Caregiving

Comments (2)

  • Charmaine


    15 December 2015 at 08:34 |
    I resonate with this a lot. When my grandmother who raised me got sick before passing from cancer I took care of her for a summer prior to graduating college. It was definitely a challenge because she needed a lot of care the more sick she became but in it I grew even closer to her and it was God's way of giving me closure in the responsibility of being with her in those last days. Thank you for sharing this!


    • Pam


      20 December 2015 at 22:33 |
      Thank you Charmaine! I'm so glad this resonated with you. I feel honored that you shared your journey with me. Closure is such a powerful thing, and I'm glad you were able to spend time with your grandmother before she passed. I wish you all of the best :-)


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